News and Reviews

THE GARDENER, THE SNAIL, THE DOTS AND THE HOSTAS

Written by one of our members 

David Joyce and read at our Social Supper Pop up poetry

How talented is he!

 

Look, attitudes can harden 

When snails are in the garden

Yet it’s just a case of dealing with them quickly.

If you leave them to their romping

They simply go on chomping,

And your hostas soon look very very sickly.

 

So I set myself a task

To find a snail to ask

Why they always give us such horrendous trouble.

You’d think with climate warming 

That we’d heed the clear warning

That their numbers in the garden could soon double.

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Well, dear friends, here’s the story -

It’s hardly death or glory –

And I’m not so proud of how it finally ended.

I saw some shells with dots –

Not just a few - but LOTS!

Then chose a snail that was to be befriended.

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It was sitting near the hostas

And you know how that could cost us,

So I gave it a determined sort of glance.

“I’m fed up with you snails!”

But it turned upon me, pale.

“I’m Margot - an escargot -

And I slithered ‘ere from France”

​

“A snail? A snail! Mon Dieu!”

My small friend wailed,

“You’ve really no idea what you’ve said.

Getting ‘ere wasn’t easy,

Channel crossings make me queasy,

And then I go all fuzzy in zee ‘ead.”

​

The snails all yelled “Gardener –

We think you ought to pardon her, 

She’s got some style – she’s very … continental”.

You can all say what you like, 

But I said, “On yer bike!” -

I just couldn’t get all soft and sentimental.

​

Well, having laid my plans

I took her in my hand, 

And I have to say, the girl exuded taste.

She wore a feather boa

Which made her slither slower, 

Though the French are never noted for their haste.

 

Let me say that when things started

I never saw us being parted – 

The gardener and the tiny little snail.

But she looked me up and down

And gave a haughty frown,

So I knew the end was nigh in this short tale.

 

“Come with me, dear, “I said,

While I go and find some bread,” 

Though I said this just a bit above a mutter.

“I like snails quite a lot

With – or without the dots, 

But you’re always best when served in garlic butter!”

 

David Joyce, January 2023

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BHVS Social Supper Saturday 14th January 2023

Just a thankyou to all those that came to the Social Supper on Saturday night. It was a very successful evening with over 40 people attending. Our “Mediterranean Theme” seemed to be very popular.

Hopefully everyone enjoyed the great selection.

 

Our POP UP POETRY  entertains well and I must say we have a very talented poet in our members (David Joyce just to name drop)

He has kindly said he will send me a copy and I will post it on our website, so watch this space.

 

I have to say a big thankyou to all the team who cooked the delicious food, helped set up the tables, tended the bar, cleared away and washed up.

 

Looking forward to the next one.

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Bourne Valley Horticultural Society & Gardening Club Annual Show 2022

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A relaxing afternoon was enjoyed by both visitors and the committee despite the fact that the Show was not quite as busy as in previous years. The last Show prior to the pandemic was held in 2019. Before this an Annual Show had been held every year without a break since 1945.

 

Despite the three year gap, there were twenty entrants who, between them, produced entries for all the divisions, totalling over 100 exhibits. The Glebe Hall showcased these, making pleasing and interesting viewing. We are very grateful to all those who made the effort to take part and make the event such a success.

 

Due to the low numbers we were only able to give out eleven awards. There was the usual keen competition for the Banksian Medal, awarded this year to Neil Grace who gained the most overall points for his exhibits in the vegetable, fruit and flower divisions. The flower division was the best supported in the Show, with the Daisy Cottle Award for the most points overall going to Katie Shepherd. Although there were not enough entries in craft to award the division trophy, the ‘Best in Show’ for craft was given to Sue Cane for her vibrant crocheted bag.

 

The ‘Vicar’s Choice’ Trophy, after much deliberation by Rev. Peter Ostli-East, was awarded to Gomeldon School for their trug of produce from their school garden, a lovely display of wild flowers and courgette plants.

 

This year committee created a life time award presented to Terry Cox for his long-standing contribution to previous Shows with his home made wines and outstanding sweet pea displays. We will miss his exhibits.

 

Our gratitude goes to all who participated in making this a successful comeback. A big thank you especially to Joanne Sankey who not only organised the refreshments and three superb food hampers which assured a very successful raffle, but also sponsored all the children’s prizes.

 

The last word goes to our Flower Arrangement Judge, Sue Clissold, who left us this note

 

 

 

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AWARD WINNERS LIST

Reed Challenge Cup                    Division 1, Vegetables              Neil Grace

                                                                                                2nd Charles Penn, 3rd David Baker

Skyrme Cup                                  Division 2, Fruit                Charles Penn & Bob Dunster

Daisy Cottle Cup                           Division 3, Flowers                              Katie Shepherd

                                                                                                           2nd Clare Grace,

                                                                                                3rd Clare Dunster & Margaret Ward

Gordon Sale Cup                 Members only, plant from plug                   Jenny Head

                                                                                                2nd Clare Grace, 3rd Pam Taylor

Banksian Medal                    Divisions 1,2,3, most points              Neil Grace

(excludes winners in 2 previous years)

Pitt Cup                                         Division 6, Domestic                 Elizabeth Lester

                                                                                                2nd Katie Shepherd, 3rd Clare Dunster

Nathaniel James Salver                Division 7, Photography            Clare Dunster

                                                                                                2nd Neil Grace, 3rd Lexie Baker

Earls Manor Trophy            Division 8, Craft, Best in Show           Susan Crane

Vicar’s Trophy                               Vicar’s Choice                                Gomeldon School

Grace Staff Shield              Division 9, Children, most points                    Hollie Baker

Daphne Adlam Cup            Best school garden produce trug           Gomeldon School

 

(Due to low entry numbers, the following trophies could not be awarded this year: Feltham Award for flower arranging, Tipple Award for wine, beer, cider & spirits, Sankey Trophy for craft)